*Be forewarned. I'm not doing so hot confidence wise lately, so I'm sorry for the whiny post. I really need to vent these feelings or else it will eat me up!*
In the scheme of the blogging world I'm not sure how I fit in or if I even fit in? This is something that has been racking at my confidence lately, and I need to figure it all out. See, even a 2+ year blogger struggles with these issues!
I've always been happy having my own little corner in the blog-o-sphere. I've never really been really friendly with a ton of other bloggers (I am friendly, but not really friends if that makes sense). I've never really gone the same route as other bloggers. I've always just done my own thing and I was cool with that, but now I'm starting to wonder if it is putting me at a disadvantage. I'm starting to wonder if my personality and blogging style are making me unapproachable or seem standoffish to other bloggers, readers, and/or companies? I am not the easiest person to get to know. I'm an introvert, and I'm not very trusting of people. I internalize a lot, and I wonder if this makes me come off as aloof? If so, that's not the case at all. If anything it's insecurity that prevents me from being very sociable.
I've never been part of the "cool kids" club. I've never been Miss. Popularity. I've always kind of done my own thing in my own way. In ways, I like this there is no pressure to be the best or the greatest. There is no pressure to live up to other peoples expectations and standards. I just wonder if me beating to my own drum is causing me to fade into the background?
I never got into blogging to be the next most popular nail blogger. I really do not even want to be. I think one of the best things about my blog that I will always 100% feel confident about is that my blog is personable and relatable. I'd rather feel I am connected to my readers than represent a ton of nail brands get all the PR samples. Is this the wrong approach? Should I want to represent more brands, get samples, and provide reviews? Should I try to be a go-getter and take advantage of more opportunities?
I feel like I am very modest as well. I don't see myself as special or better than any other blogger out there or any other person who reads my blog. One of my biggest pet peeves is big headed and self important people. I think if anyone who read my blog and thought that about me I would be devastated. I really see blogging and my success through blogging as absolutely humbling, and something I so grateful for. The problem is am I too modest? I am so modest at times I reject compliments and do not see my worth as a blogger. This isn't good either. I work so hard on my blog, and I should be able to reap the rewards of it without feeling guilty. It's difficult for me to see the shades of gray. I see it as two options, be modest or be completely arrogant. I'd rather be modest, but there is a happy medium here. I just need to find it.
I'm definitely struggling here. I'm not sure how other bloggers view me. I'm not sure how other people and companies view me. It's difficult because my blog is so uniquely me, but at this point in blogging am I doing myself a disservice by being this way? I hate feeling like I'm on the outside of the blogging community, but I don't want to lose myself either.
I know I'll eventually find the happy medium to this. It will take time and probably a lot of counsel from friends and family though. I absolutely love blogging, and it is major part of my life. I want to feel good about what I do, but I don't want to sell myself short either.
I'm not writing this to garner sympathy or for people to validate me. I really want to some advice, and sometimes it's nice to know you're not alone. I'd love to hear your experiences with this too.
Do other bloggers out there have any experience with a blogging identity crisis?