Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Talk it Out Tuesday: Blogging Insecurities

I think "Talk It Out Tuesday" will turn into a bi-weekly or monthly post, depending on what topics come to mine. If I do it weekly I run out of ideas! If you have an topic suggestions you can always email me

Today's topic is Blogging Insecurities. 


I can only assume not every blogger out there is 100% confident about what they do on their blogs 24/7. I think we all have some doubts and insecurities about our blogs, ourselves, and how we all fit into this blog-o-sphere. I think sometimes it's easier to brush off, while other times it can be overwhelming.


If you are a blogger, do you have insecurities about your blog? If you feel comfortable sharing, what are your insecurities? How do you combat them?


Also, feel free to comment on this if you're not a blogger. I'd love to see your thoughts and impressions too!

I really wanted to do this topic, as a means of support for other bloggers. We don't always have the avenue to able to express our insecurities and gain feedback from others. I hope this topic will be helpful and positive in that way.

My answer:

I think I have more insecurities with myself as a blogger vs. my blog itself. 

I think my main insecurity now is how I fit in with other bloggers. To be honest, I sometimes feel like an outsider. I see a lot of bloggers who have strong friendships and connections with others, and I don't feel I really have that. I feel like I keep to myself a lot, and maybe I come off snooty or unapproachable to other bloggers? I know my blog doesn't come off snooty, but maybe I do when I talk on Twitter or Facebook?

To be honest, I think my trust level with others is not strong. I do not easily open up to others, and sometimes I just feel awkward when talking to bloggers. I'm not really sure the etiquette when communicating with other bloggers. Other bloggers must email each other or have some form of communication outside of blogging and Twitter to become good friends? I guess I feel like I'd be imposing if I tried to reach out. I'm so insecure and negative about this, which is probably the problem.

I do not have 0 blogging friends. In fact, I've met some great people through blogging, but I feel myself holding back from having the stronger friendships I'd like. I really need blogger friends. There are bad days, bad blogging days, and frustrating things I go through with blogging that I need to have people I can vent to.

This is definitely something I need to work on with myself. It's not anyone's fault, nor is it mine. It's just definitely an insecurity that needs "me work". I think I see myself as beneath others and not good enough, when that only exists in my head?

I think besides that I feel pretty good about my blog. I resent posts from other bloggers ranting about what bloggers do wrong. I hate seeing people post about bloggers crappy pictures etc. That always make me insecure, because sometimes I notice my photos are not 100%. They can be blurry, my cuticles are not perfect, etc. It makes me feel like crap. I can deal with this issue fine, because obliviously people read my blog so it can't be that big of an issue. It still ticks me off when people feel a need to impose their ideas of what is a good blog is on others. I know it makes other people feel insecure too.

These are my insecurities I wanted to share with you.

What are yours?

Happy Tuesday!

106 comments:

  1. My main insecurity, my only insecurity actually, is that my blog isn't "good enough." Like it's just there, and people glance at it and never come back. But I keep telling myself I do this for me, and if people like what I'm doing, that's just a bonus.

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  2. If I had to pick my biggest insecurity, it's definitely photography for my blog. I still can't figure out how to hold a polish bottle and get good pics of my nails for polish swatches. And same with makeup. I'd love to do FOTD/EOTDs.. but.. I hate every picture that I take of myself. Plus, I don't think it helps that our camera is ancient and very near death. Not that I'm trying to blame the equipment, but I know I'm overly insecure about the pictures I take and post.

    I also agree about the blogging friends. I've made a few good friends (including you, of course) but.. I just feel like the majority of the bloggers are so unapproachable. I've reached out to one blogger in particular several times on Twitter --both with breaking beauty news relevant to her blog and on personal levels (inquiring about her health when she was sick, etc) and... nothing. Like, I hate to be butthurt but I'm just like.. if someone tweets you 5-10 times within a 1-2 month period, you'd think you'd recognize the name or picture and at least REPLY. A simple thank you would be sufficient.

    Ok, so I totally didn't mean to go into rant mode, but those are my two biggest insecurities/issues. Oh, I lied. One more: I'm starting to get offers for things that I don't know how to handle as a newbie blogger and it would be nice to have a more seasoned blogger to talk to about this stuff... but again, the question arises as to how to organically develop those connections and relationships. :sigh:

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  3. I'm really glad that you posted this! I have a lot of the same insecurities.. I haven't been blogging very long nor do I have many followers but I really enjoy doing it. It makes me feel bad sometimes seeing how other bloggers are so close with each other and some of them were friends before blogging. I don't make friends very easily as it is (not because I'm a weirdo or anything hahaha) but like you said, I keep to myself and I'm a pretty private person but I really wish I was able to reach out more to become good friends with some fellow bloggers but I honestly have no idea how to even do that! Maybe we can start being friends?! Haha :) I really enjoy reading your blog and I don't think it comes off snooty at all but I worry about that too because I'm very sarcastic and some people take it as me being a bitch (and sometimes that's my intent lol). From reading you blog I think you sound really awesome. :) Great topic by the way!

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  4. I've been considering quitting blogging, since I never really felt like I was  a very good blogger anyways. The last few times I tried to start posting regularly I kind of gave up because I felt like nobody was reading it anyways. I've had a hard time getting motivated so I've just ignored my blog.

    I am with you about the posts that ranted about other bloggers, because I was just starting & thought, oh man, my blog is awful. I have a hard time taking decent pictures and since I started working at Macy's a year ago my nails have been getting pretty beat up. & I agree about fitting in. It's really hard, I definitely feel like an outsider, but of course I haven't been a very active blogger so it's my own fault. I do have a couple blogger friends though. I actually might be meeting Jess from Polished Lyrics this weekend!

    Sorry, this seems to just kind of ramble on buuuut I've just gotta say, your blog is one of my favorites Steph!! And I don't think you seem snooty. Just fyi.

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  5. I think everyone shares similar insecurities. Like Destany I worry my blog isn't good enough. I notice some people get a lot of followers and post rarely, and yet even when I post a lot I don't seem to pick up a lot of them. My insecurities keep telling me it is because they are very pretty.

    I also don't have blogger relationships, and I would really like to. I think I am fun lol!

    Like Mandy I will like how my makeup turned out, but then hate the photos. I have a great camera, so maybe I am not photogenic lol? I am insecure about my skin (have had acne for years), so that may be part of why I don't like my pictures.

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  6. I think its definitely easy to feel like an "outsider" in the world of blogging, especially since (like you said) others seems to have a tight-knit bond.  I have met some amazing people through blogging, but I think it is natural to feel seperated at times.  I think my insecurities are things like, am I doing it "right".  Is there something else or some sort of "thing" I should be doing?  Then it comes back to the same thing I tell myself "in real life" (sorry for all the quotation marks...they are annoying ME ;)  - I just have to be myself.  People/blog readers will like me for me, and if not- it's ok.

    I love your blog and the fact that you allow insight into the blogging experience and the way it effects you.  It is refreshing!  XoXo

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  7. I have given up blogging several times. It was just recently that I started up again and update it everyday. I am not confident in my blogging skills at all. I am lacking a lot! I feel the same way you do. I see a lot of bloggers have strong relationships with others and I do feel like I do not belong at all! I have 0 blog friends. I feel like such an outsider.

    I wish people would stop policing other people's blogs. My insecurities are all of the above as well as my writing skills. I am not confident in my blog at all. It's just something I have to work  on!

    You do not come off as snooty at all!!

    xoxox

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  8. You pretty much said what I feel, I see everyone chatting and being good friends and really want something like that without knowing how to get there. Everyone's so nice, but I can't seem to really connect. Not that I do much better offline, I'm just ridiculously shy.
    Other than that: photos, they're much better than they used to be but I'm still unhappy with the reflections and such.

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  9. I have tons of insecurities. I always think my blog sucks, I look at other blogs and see great photos, great manis, great layouts, and lots of comments, and then I look at mine, and I just think it sucks, but I don't know how to make it better, because that's all I can do, and I just think oh well, I have to have a blog because otherwise how will I justify all the polish??
    I also feel like an outsider, like the newbee,  just like highshool all over again, but not as rough. 

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  10. Insecurities? Tons!! Beginning from my blog, that could be much better in terms of layout (I still haven't had the time to prepare a decent banner for my title), contents (sometimes it takes me so much to write a post, as I tend to read and correct, read and correct so many times, not to mention translation) and  style (I find some bloggers are funny and witty, in what seems an effortless way and I wish I could be the same). Is it enough :-P?
    Sometimes I wonder if all time I spend on my blog is worth it, then I remember why I started blogging: to share my love for polish. So I'll try to do my best to make my blog a place where a polishlover would love to stop for a while, despite all things it lacks.
    So far I've been chatting mostly with bloggers from my own country but I tend not to lead in contacting fellow bloggers, I agree with you on the "imposing" sensation especially in a formed group, *blushes* I'm a shy girl :-/

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  11. LimitedAddictionNailsSeptember 13, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    I am so happy I came across your blog! I've only started my blog a month ago, but I start feeling more insecure by the day. I was really excited about my last post, until nobody took the time to leave a little comment. That's when I realized I should just aim low so I won't get disappointed.
    I'm also insecure about my nails, because they're not that long. The skin around my nails that tend to peel and all... I'm insecure about the polishes that I swatch; my nail polish stash is growing, but I can't spend all my money every month on more known brands just for my blog.
    And everything you mentioned in your post! I don't have blogger friends or people who talk to me. But I don't want to start talking to others because I don't want them to think that I want to use their 'fame' to get more known out there.

    OMG, I'm glad this is out! :)

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  12. I hope you know that my cell 'is always open' - feel free to call or text me anytime :)  

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  13. We experience the same feelings with being alone and not really having any blogging friends. We're currently in a Facebook group for bloggers that's geared more toward the technical side of blogging, but we wanted to ask,

    Would you guys be interested in a Facebook group that's more of a social experience? Where us bloggers can get together and just CHAT and get to know each other...make some friends?

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  14. First off, I don't think you are snooty at all. I love your blog. And to be honest, I think this post will hit home with alot of people. And before  you read all this I just want to say I love I love blogging and don't see any chance of me quitting over these issues.

    I also have insecurities about my blog. I am an insecure person in general though. I have never been very confident about much. I have very few friends, mainly because of my insecurities. I am shy and stay to myself. The only friends I have are online. I don't mean to be this way, but its part of who I am. I used to try very hard to be (or appear) confident. Now I am married with kids so very rarely leave the house. I think that this makes me more insecure, though. 
    I too, feel like an outsider. I have been blogging for a bit over a year and still have only 3 followers and very few views. One of the reasons I started my blog was to make a few friends. I wanted someone that I could talk to some.

    My blog is a bit different than others, because I post what I find interesting. Which for the most part could be anything. I have never been able to just focus on any one thing, so it ends up being a bit of everything that makes me who I am. I have considered trying to follow one interest on my blog, but then I didn't enjoy it. What is the point in writing if I don't enjoy it?

    I hate when people complain, in my opinion if you don't like something just avoid it. That way people's feelings get hurt alot less. My photos are horrible, but I try my best. I have no experience using cameras other than everyday stuff, so I have to learn (alot). 

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  15. If you do that I would love to join!

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  16. That's the important thing that I think some people forget about, is that your blog is for you. I think you're allowed to be selfish in that respect. :)

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  17. I must say you are definitely my closest friend I've made through blogging. I'm so thankful for that. I think my issue is something other bloggers seem cliquey with other bloggers, and I don't do cliquey well. I've ALWAYS been on the outskirts of cliques. I don't even like cliques so I wish it wasn't that way. I'm so weird about how to handle offers too! I get offers from companies that I'm not interested in at all, and I'm not sure how to handle it either. :-/

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  18. Of course we can be friends! Part of the reason I posted this was to break that between so many of us. I don't make friends easily either. I always had friends growing up, but once you reach adulthood and move to new places and experience new things it's been so difficult for me. I'm definitely improving, but trust is an issue with me. I am too private person, it's hard to open up. I'm not sure if I follow your blog? Can you tell me the link?

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  19. Rambles are good! I think it's hard to sometimes find motivation to blog, there are days I just have no idea what I could possible say or write about. The people who rant about other bloggers are I'm sorry are probably insecure themselves and full of crap. We have to sit down a realize that people are not confident people because they would have no reason to put down others. It still sucks because it really alienates so many people. I hope you get to meet Polished Lyrics this week! I wish we could meet and go on Disney adventures!

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  20. Thanks for your comments. The blogging world is tricky. I'm not sure why some people thrive when they don't put a lot of work in, while others who do have a struggle. It's really hot or cold. I notice some posts I make get very few responses, while others get tons. I started following your blog now! :)

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  21. You said some great things here! You have to be you when you blog, and I think that's what works. The more honest and open you are, the more people are attracted you and your blog. I do feel like you sometimes to wondering if we're doing the "right" things or am I missing something everyone else has.

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  22. I think the more you blog the more experience you gain. It's good to start somewhere. I look in horror at some of my first posts, but I'm glad I started in that place because I really appreciate my improvement. I just started following your blog, and it looks great to me. You can do great nail art, something I can't do!

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  23. Yeah, I'm kind of at that point where I'm not sure how to get there either. I think it's about taking those risks and just sending someone you like a friendly email or something  to get the ball rolling. I think we all want friends, and we're all somewhat unsure of how to go about it.

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  24. Oh my gosh, I have an uncle who lives in Florida and I was just talking to him about how I should come visit and go to Disney World. Who knows when I'll be able to do that but at some point I'll make it happen :P

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  25. I hope you just don't blog to justify your polish collection. Blogging isn't about great photos, tons of follows, and tons of comments. It's about the people behind the blog. Sure, there are blogs I follow for the great pictures and for the latest polishes, but many of those I don't really know anything about the people behind them. There are so many blogs I follow because of who the blogger is and the dedication and interest they have in polish.

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  26. I have moments where I question why I blog, because sometime it can get frustrating and overwhelming. I think we all have to remind ourselves why we got into this and learn to brush some of the negative stuff aside.

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  27. I don't think you should ever aim low. I think when you first start out blogging you have to be patient. I barely got any comments when I started blogging, and sometimes I got none at all. It is disappointing when you put work into something and it doesn't get noticed, but don't let that discourage you. Give it time. :) What is the link to your blog? I'd love to follow.

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  28. I know exactly what you mean. I find nail FB groups to be difficult because they either how you described more about marketing/PR stuff your blog or are kind of cliquey amongst members. I've actually been chatting with another blogging about starting a FB for bloggers/nail addicts that is just chill and fun. I'm not sure when we'll get started on that, but if you start something up I'd love to join!

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  29. Exactly! You should enjoy your blog, so it shouldn't be under any constraints based on other peoples blogs etc. That's what I don't get either, if people don't like how someone else does their blog why bother following? Why bother making nasty comments? It takes more energy to hate something than it does to just ignore it.

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  30. I'm a blogger and I have the same insecurity about not fitting in with other bloggers. I do have some good friendships with others bloggers but not super close ones like I feel some bloggers have.

    My main insecurity is something I have a hard time pin pointing. I transferred from Blogger to my own domain about 6 months ago and ever since then I've had a huge decline in followers and comments on posts. I can;t figure out the culprit to that. I'm not sure if it's the layout, how user friendly it is or what. My pictures haven;t changed much (if anything, I think they're getting better) and my writing style have stayed the same so I don't think that either of those are to blame. Either way, the lack or a large amount of followers makes me pretty insecure about my blog.

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  31. Great topic!

    I guess my biggest insecurity is probably the quality of my pictures. It's so intimidating and kinda depressing when I read another blog and the blogger is ranting about how ugly another blogger's photos are.. Before I started blogging, I was following a blogger that would randomly insult other bloggers, saying stuff like they should learn how to take pictures before starting and blog and other nasty things. (I unfollowed her)

    Aside from pictures, I'm pretty self conscious about my writing style too. I have a scattered brain so I tend to get off topic often. Oh yeah, I also freak out about not posting as often as other people too. I notice that a lot of people post everyday, but my schedule usually won't allow me to post that often and I really beat myself up over that.

    Whew. Long comment. Thanks for bringing this topic up Steph! I'm a bit of a recluse too, so I totally understand how you feel when you say that you feel like an outsider!

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  32. I love your blog.  It may not be perfect but it is real and it makes me feel like I can do the things you do. Some of the other blogs are so perfect that I feel like I have no chance of my nails being as nice. 

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  33. Very good question! I think a lot of our insecurities with blogging can be summed up in one question: What is it that I am trying to accomplish with my blog? For some, it's just a creative outlet. For others, it's their way to be a voice in their industry of choice whether it be fashion, beauty, etc. And for what seems like a lot of bloggers, it's all about that number under the "Join this site" button (as much as we hate to admit it.)  For lack of a better analogy, I think it's like high school and we all just want to be the cool kid with the most-craved nail polish and the most friends.

    With that being said, I mostly worry about how my blog is perceived. What do potential readers think I'm trying to do? I initially started blogging as way to share some of the things I was working on creatively and in my personal life without a care in the world about how many followers I had or if my blog was a good as so-and-so's. If you look at my earlier posts, they're much more diverse with a lot worse pictures. But as I blogged, I found my favorite thing to post about was my nail polish and nail art. I reinvented the blog and gave it a new name to give potential readers and idea as to what my blog is all about. And coincidentally, I think this is when some of my insecurities started to pop up. It's like a whole new set of expectations arise when you marginalize your blog like that. Why do I only have XYZ number of followers? Why did this person unfollow me? What do people think of my photography skills or lack there of? Will they be upset if I blog about clothes today instead of nail polish? So for what it's worth, I just try not to think about it. People will think what they want so I just worry about my posts making ME happy.

    I also feel like I don't have any strong friendships in the polish
    blogospere. Maybe it's because I'm just not that interesting over the
    internet, lol. Maybe it's because I'm not 100% dedicated to blogging
    likes its my job and I'm definitely not connected through social media
    24/7. Who knows? At any rate, the more blogs I read, the more I feel
    that these types of relationships are expected and are the norm. For
    example, my fiance blogs about collecting baseball cards. He is a
    much slacker blogger than I am yet we've met TONS of people off the
    blogs he follows and there's a big sense of camaraderie amongst them. I
    admit, I'm a bit jealous of that sometimes.  But when I compare this to "real life" I find it to be the same... he's charismatic and has a lot of solid friendships whereas I'm admittedly a loner by nature and that  definitely carries over into my online personality. Not that I'm unfriendly or not personable, I just tend to stick to my comfort zone and I'm totally cool with chillin' on the couch on a Friday night. I think people can pick up on that sometimes.

    But anyways, I think that's enough run-on sentences and rhetorical questions for one reply! So good luck with blogging and remember that there are ton of readers out there who appreciate you and what you do!

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  34. I feel my biggest insecurity is being the dork on the corner that everyone is laughing at.

    I tend to cherish the oddball colors, I title my entries in goofy puns so I realize things are hard to find, I am tag challenged, and I am very slow to pick up the CSS with the blogger html.

    Meanwhile, I know that if I don't blog because I enjoy it, there is not one point in blogging, so I don't really care about building a huge base, just enjoying myself and the people who read it, and hope they enjoy the journey, too.

    When I was a kid, I kept a diary, this is my nail journal, and it is fun to do.

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  35. LimitedAddictionNailsSeptember 13, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Aw thank you :) I will definitely continue, because I like doing this! I'm not very good with my pictures yet, but I keep trying finding new ways to shoot everything :P The link to my blog; limitedaddictionnails.blogspot.com :)

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  36. I am actually just starting my blog and I am terrified for some reason. I seem to have a hard time gathering readers and friends and I am worried my blog will never catch on and I shouldn't bother trying in the first place. I know I have to go for it or I will totally miss out but I am worried about not being interesting or not measuring up to all the other nail blogs out there. But I am writing my first entry now, despite my worries. Here is hoping ~

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  37. I definitely agree with you! I think it's hard for me to connect with my followers besides doing giveaways, which leaves me insecure. I'm also insecure because although I have 50 followers, I seem to rarely get comments on my posts. I comment a lot on other blogs, which is supposed to help increase flow to my blog, but I don't see it coming to fruition :( I've blogged for 1 year and am still trying to improve.

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  38. You can't be serious! I love your blog! :o) That's why I decided to run a blog of my own - when reading a blog is such a pleasure, what a pleasure is to run one, huh?!
    As a blogger I'm made of insecurities. I know my problem areas  - my English could had been better, my pics are pretty crappy, my nails and cuticles are not perfect, wish I could post more often than once a week, wish I could have been more social with other bloggers. Damn, I even don't know how to start swapping! :oP But I'm working on these things :>
    What matters most is that I really enjoy blogging, I have so much fun with posting and swatching. And if someone stumble upon my blog, decides to follow and have as much fun as I do - that's all about!     
    Keep rockin' Steph \m/          

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  39. If you decide to start one.. I'd love to be considered for inclusion! ♥

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  40. I agree! And you are definitely my closest blogging friend as well. Isn't it weird how you can connect to someone and never have actually met them? Like, I'm sad that we live so far away because I feel like we'd totally hang out in real life. :(

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  41. Okay, I have another insecurity: Doing sponsored posts. I don't mind working with companies and PR reps, as long as it's a brand that I know (or have done my research on) and trust. But I still feel weird doing the posts. Like, I feel people will judge me as a sell out or something.

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  42. It can be scary to start a new blog. I just started mine last month. So focus on why you are starting the blog. If it is because you want to share a passion for something you love, then go for it. Part of blogging is in the love you put into it. It's like baking a cake for yourself - do it because it makes you feel good. In that case, you should only worry about what pleases you. You will be surprised to find that people come to your blog and are really really supportive. 

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  43. So mine isn't so much of an insecurity but a security issue.  I feel really uncomfortable posting personal information online. So while I love to blog, I am also careful to conceal my identity - such as personal photographs.  This may sound silly to some, but I know several people - including bloggers - that had their identities stolen. So it is a fine line between sharing who I am and what I love, and not giving out too much personal info.

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  44. Yes, it can be difficult to not get caught up in the numbers counter. Though it is encouraging to see how many people have looked at your pages so at least you know you are getting your voice out there. 

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  45. I really like the pics on your blog. Your nails are gorgeous! I wish I could get mine to that length. Mine are still nubs because I was moving and they all broke off down to the quick, right after I started blogging. 

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  46. I have a few insecurities about blogging that are pretty straightforward. For example,  I worry that my posts may be too wordy, that my cuticles don't look nice enough, and that I have a hard time letting my nails grow any length.

    On a deeper level, I suppose I worry that no one's reading it. When start thinking that, I remind myself that I started the blog for me and usually get over it pretty quickly. I occasionally think that people would be more interested if I did collection reviews or ...whatever... but that's not practical for me or really what I want to do, so I can generally brush it off.

    I would like to get more involved in the blogging community, so I've been trying to comment more on the blogs I read. I'm usually more of a lurker. I feel good about getting more involved because I hope it helps other people with their insecurities, since we all seem to have similar ones.

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  47. Hey, do you use Bloglovin' or Google Friend Connect? I would like to follow your blog, but I don't use Networked blogs.

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  48. I agree with you completely on the cuticle thing, and the people who complain about others' blogs. It is not fair for them to judge other people's blogs, and why should their opinions matter at all? Who are they to decide what makes nails beautiful. Those types of blogs are what makes me insecure. I want people to see what I do and get enjoyment out of it like I do, maybe be inspired to repeat my design. When I see sites that say "make sure you get all your polish off your cuticles" or "If the picture is not good then don't post it", it makes it seem like my blog is not good enough to be viewed by the community because some of my images are not the best. 

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  49. I really enjoyed this post. I know my biggest blogger insecurity is not posting as often as I think I should. I also worry that people won't like my somewhat uneven nail length and judge my pictures because of that. I sometimes feel bad about subpar photos of mine when some people set expectations very high.

    On another note, I love your blog! Keep up the good work! :)

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  50. Wow what I great post.I can really relate to you in eveything.About not really having blogging friends and how it's seem like other people have strong friendships and how I wish I had something like that with someone.Also on the picture I really have a problem with thinking my picture suck and feeling bad about that.This is a great a post!I really like your talk it out tuesday post!And all your other posts!(:

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  51. good post!

    :-( me too. I feel the same way.

    I just keep trying to blog.
    There are so many things going on with me now.
     I don't really have the time to be on twitter/facebook and be on the 'inside' anymore.
    So, I feel outside I guess. 

    And yeah, I worry that my pics are not right/nails are messy.
    I started the blog for me to make sure I don't have dupes;
    so, I'm just going to focus on that,
    and not try to worry what others think...
    like.. if they don' like my blog/pics/writing/

    But's it's really hard still though.

    Boo.
    Thinking about all that makes me have a sad face. 
    ......because I have no idea what I'm doing with my blog.. lol. 
    sometimesI  feel like i=I have to show all these new polish collections/swatch a whole bunch for my readers. . it's frustrating to try to be everything. 

    I think I will just try to have perspective and just try to blog for fun.
    When it is not fun anymore then I will stop. 

    So, it's hard just try to do my own thing...
    When there is so many things mean and demanding things people say to a blogger.

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  52. I read this and I swear it is like you are taking all these thoughts in my head and putting them in words. I feel *exactly* the same way. About everything.

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  53. I feel the exact same way as you do about blogging friends. It seems like everyone else is so much closer, and I know it'll take time since I just recently started blogging but it's hard to feel connected. Especially when I don't think I'm on twitter enough to even keep up with what everyone else is talking about on the day-to-day basis.

    I also feel like the way I word my posts could be improved. I read other blogs and their polish descriptions are so in depth that it puts my entries to shame. :p

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  54. I felt like that a LOT when I first started. Granted, once or twice I'm pretty sure my presence felt intrusive to what other bloggers have but that's not the case at all most of the time at least. I find that bloggers who I'm intimidated at the most turns out to be the nicest ones too! It's a case-to-case basis kinda thing. If I click with a particular blogger, it' a great feeling. It's not really, really hard to find someone who's on the same wavelength as you but when you do it's so exciting and you guys share something. That can be strengthened over time. I just want eveyrone to have a good time and have fun blogging in general.

    As for my blog, my biggest insecurity is my pictures. I take a picture of one finger only. It started out cause I wanted the focus to be on one nail just because and that most of the time all my fingernails are of different lengths. It just stuck and some readers have associated my one finger shots with me, it's like a part of my identity as kittypolishnbags. A lot of people don't like it, but this is the way I do it and it makes me happy. I don't watch counter numbers or followers as much cause that's not why I started blogging. I know I have much less than lots of other bloggers though.

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  55. Thank you! I did move last year, too (and it has been tragic for both nails and skin)...I love long nails too, but mine now are shorter (accidental break happens) :-( Luckily nails grow fast.

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  56. Overwhelming. THE word...When you start telling yourself  "I have to... post/swatch/review" something.
    You're right, blogging is something that should be fun and "light" :-) No space or time for negative stuff.
    BTW Thank you for replying!

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  57. I love your Tuesday posts, even though I don't often comment. I stopped blogging about my nails because I felt that I was just showing polish that many other bloggers have shown. Part of my reason for blogging was to share my stash with others, and the other part was to share my other hobbies. In the end, I was getting tired of talking about my polish, even though I love what I own, and tired of all the negativity that other bloggers show toward those who are posting for fun rather than for outstanding macros. I started a new hobby blog, and am posting my nail pictures to Lockerz for my blogging friends who said they liked my photos. If anyone else looks, that is great. Otherwise, I am blogging for me and for those who care to read what I write.

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  58. By the way, I love Talk it out Tuesday. It is such a great idea!
    Just like most people who have commented, I have lots if insecurities as well. For me they mostly have to do with my nails/cuticles being less then perfect. Plus, I want perfect photos which I can never seem to achieve. It is hard, but I try not to compare myself to other bloggers as this would make me stop blogging entirely.

    Like you, I don't have many friends in the blogging community. I don't think it is a sign of being snobby at all. I'm also shy and it seems strange for me to just email someone out of the blue. What does one even say in an email like that?

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  59. Thank you for your kind comments! You have a great blog as far as photos and layout. I think sometimes when people change domains it's hard for people to figure out how to follow your blog again. I know for like 2 years I had no idea I could "follow" non Blogger blogs in my Dashboard. I definitely don't think it's anything you're doing it may be hard for people to figure out how to subscribe?

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  60. I really do not understand the reason people feel a need to put energy into posting mean-spirited things like that at all. It serves no purpose other than making other people feel bad and making themselves looks like well..an ass. It's unfortunate some people thing they have some sort of authority over other bloggers.

    I used to get self-concious about my writing style too. Like you I'm scattered brained, but I think that's a good thing. I think that's what makes my blogging style different from others. I'm not going to have really detailed reviews on here. I say a few things, sometimes and I say some random funny things, but that's what makes it work for me. I think that's what makes a blog more relatable and personable.

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  61. Thank you for your comments! I appreciate it.

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  62. I think you're right a lot of this is "high school". I think there are bloggers out there who blog for personal gain, popularity, and freebies. It's frustrating to me because I can't stand the "fake" BS. I can see right through it, and some of these bloggers are loved by many, when I don't think their intentions genuine.

    I also used to ask myself a lot of the questions you posed for yourself. I've found the less I care about what I'm posting the better off I am. I honestly do not put much thought into my posts, and whatever comes out comes out. I think this has done wonders for me in the sense of being able to just blog without restraint. I just post what I want when Iw ant. I of course care about my blog, but I think you get what I'm saying?

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  63. You have a great attitude about blogging! I think it's all about reminding ourselves why we started blogging, and separating that from the other nonsense that makes us insecure.

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  64. I held off from blogging for over a year because of the insecurities you are talking about.  Starting a blog was life changing for me in a positive way, and it's been very rewarding for me emotionally. I think the key to blogging is having patience, and keeping up with it all. If you're dedicated and you have passion it will attract others. What is the link to your blog? I'd love to  check it out!

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  65. I'm not always sure how the blogging world works. It can be so hot and cold.  Do you have a Twitter account for your blog? I find this really helps get yourself out there.

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  66. Thank you for your kind words <3. You have a great attitude about blogging. It's all about enjoying it, and it really is an added bonus if others love it too.

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  67. I totally understand. I don't think it's silly at all. Thank you for commenting and supporting so many others in this post!

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  68. I used to worry about what I was posting too. I would wonder if people would want me to post full collections of new stuff and etc. Like you, it's not practical for me either. I don't get freebies, and I cannot afford whole collections. I just post whatever I feel like it. I think this is good, amongst the thousands of blogs a huge chunk of them are soley posting new stuff, while there are less people I think who are posting nail art, or older nail polish colors. I like the posts without the latest and greatest because it introduces me to colors I might love that I may have passed up in the past.

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  69. I hate that, and I don't know what made these people the gods of nail polish blogging. It's rude and obnoxious, and they can't possibly be secure with themselves if they feel a need to put down others. Don't worry about your pictures. We all cannot have picture perfection. My pictures are not perfect, sometimes they are blurry, sometimes I get stuff in my cuticles, or sometimes I get a smudge. My blog is more than just pictures I'd like to think anyways. Poo on the haters!

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  70. Thanks Katie. Don't worry about stuff like that. I honestly think it's only select handful of snooty people who are really judgmental about things like that. They make it look like it's a lot of people though. Keep on blogging!

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  71. I'm glad you liked this post. It's comforting to know we all share similar insecurities, and it's good to know we're all getting them out! :)

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  72. I didn't mean to make you sad! I think it's good to recognize what is bugging you about this because it gets it out in the open, and all you can do is move over. I understand it's hard to separate your insecurities from hobby/blog you love. The thing is you have to, you have to put that wall up between fun and trying to be everything. If you try to be something you don't want to be you'll be miserable.

    You have to blog for you, and what makes you happy. You have to let go and just be you, and it will all fall into place.

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  73. Thanks! :) I figured we all must all share similar insecurities, and it's good to get it all out in the open.

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  74. Yeah, I dislike feeling dis-connected from others. I don't have the time to spend on Twitter talking to others, and I can't help but feel that hinders me in a way. It's hard to balance my priorities because blogging is a huge one, but it's not the most important.

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  75. Yeah, I'm easily intimidated by other bloggers. I can have surface conversations with many people, but I get uncomfortable opening up to people more.

    I LOVE your picture of one finger only. I think it's genius honestly. I wish I would of thought of that first, it would save me lots of time! :P It really is a great idea and it is definitely your signature!

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  76. I'm sorry you stopped blogging for those reasons, but I'm glad you find a way to share your polish love that makes you happier. I'm glad you blog for you that's what's important!

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  77. It is hard to not to compare yourself to others in the blogging world. I've been guilty of that on occasion when I first started blogging, but I had to let that go. I knew if I kept comparing myself I'd end up hating blogging. I think you almost have to view yourself as the only person blogging about polish. It's your project and your thing.

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  78. I have quite a few. My writing has always been one of my biggest insecurities. I'm a perfectionist, so I'm far more critical of myself than I am of other people. I think it started when a really well-known blogger tweeted about how she couldn't take some blogs seriously because of their terrible writing and pictures. I was so turned off by her overly critical and snooty attitude that I unfollowed her. I don't really think my writing is terrible, but for some reason her comment stuck with me. Now I scrutinize everything before I post it. I haven't formed many close blogger friendships either, though I cherish the ones I do have. I'm introverted to a fault, so it takes years for me to form friendships. You're not alone at all :) 

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  79. I know exactly how you feel. I would see snarky comments from a people too (of course they never named names) about how ugly someones nails are or whatever. I'd instantly think they were talking about me. It really put a damper on the blogging experience for me. I hope you don't over-scrutinize your posts too much. You don't need to! I'm glad this post took off so well, it's good to know we're not a lone in these thoughts!

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  80. One thing I've always liked about your blog is how different it is than other blogs. That's not a bad thing - it's very good. I find it a very fresh outtake on the world of nails. 

    I definitely feel intimidated by all the 'big' blogs. It's really hard to connect with other bloggers too - I don't have time to constantly be on Twitter, either. And some things other bloggers due sometimes drive me crazy. Seems like many bloggers are extremely close, but its just hard to connect with people, or they just don't want to connect with you, and would rather be friends with other bloggers. I do think there is room for everyone - but not everyone is accepting, it seems. You definitely aren't alone in this!

    What keeps me going is that I blog for myself. It's something I genuinely enjoy doing - not because of drama, cliques or that stuff - I just love nail polish.

    xoxo <3

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  81. Sometimes I feel insecure about my blog. I'm pretty much just getting started and learning as I go along, but I'm proud of the improvement I've made since I first started. I look back at my earliest posts and cringe.  Because of it, I now try to take extra care with cleaning up after polishing, removing the little bits of skin that sometimes hang around the cuticles, moisturizing my hands before taking pictures...unfortunately I rely on the sunlight for good pictures,  so my pictures don't always come out as great as I would like them to. It's been a learning process, but I remain positive! Because at the end of the day, I'm blogging for the fun of doing it, and to share my hobby with other people who would care about  it. It's not a job, and I don't think it should ever feel like one.  I'm a naturally shy person, so I never really seek out friends:  they just seem to find me. I figure if I make a few friends along the way, great. If I don't, it's ok because I wouldn't have been actively searching for any anyway.
    Talk it out Tuesday was a great idea!

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  82. OMG, Steph, this is what I call "hard at work" :o) Thank you for replying every single post - it means a lot to me, to us :o)

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  83. I'm not Steph, and I hope you don't mind me replying, but I wanted to just say that I schedule my posts. If I didn't do that, they'd be horrifically sporadic. I'm not a well organized person at all, so scheduling posts allows me to wear and photograph when I feel like it and keeps me with posts daily. It's the only way I can keep things going. :) Again, hope you don't mind me replying (or you either Steph!!!)

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  84. I missed this yesterday, and I'm sorry I did, because this is a hot-button topic for me. I've *always* felt insecure about blogging.
    I dunno if you know this, but when I had MM my level of success was pretty low when you consider when I started. I felt it constantly - blogs that started six months to a year after me were having more "success" than I was, getting noticed by followers and companies alike. 
    I know my photos aren't the best, I know my cuticles can be messed up - I have an index finger cuticle that refuses to heal. It doesn't hurt, but it IS split and won't seem to mend. I know that my cleanup isn't perfect. I constantly judge myself and I always feel overwhelmed by needing to post/swatch.
    Also, I reach out a lot and feel like I don't fit in. I know I'm older than a lot of people, I don't know if that's it. I have blogging friends, but the only one that I feel is truly a friend is Robyn. I've gotten to know you a bit better and I'm grateful for that, because I do feel we've got things in common.
    I'm taking a twitter time out right now because I just feel like most of the time when I tweet, I'm talking to myself. When I try to talk to people I often get ignored, and it was just hurting my feelings, so I said you know, why subject yourself to this?
    I don't have a lot of friends outside of blogging either. I feel like I've always been a misfit.
    Anyway, don't mean to be whining but I can see that I'm not the only one who feels this way, the insecurity and the loneliness can be overwhelming, can't it? 
    I want to thank you Steph for always posting insightful things - and for caring enough to read over our comments and reply. <3

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  85. #1: I also feel really awkward about trying to interact with other bloggers! On Twitter, I always feel like I'm butting in. I have a lot of trouble with social situations/anxiety in my day-to-day life and that spills over into my online interactions with other bloggers.

    #2: I also am really insecure about my pictures. I can't afford to buy a nicer camera right now, and the one I have is 5 or 6 years old and it's not super great. It's often color-inaccurate or blurry.

    #3: I have crappy cuticles. I'm a custodian, so I work with my hands/chemicals all freakin' day and there's no way I'll ever have nice-looking fingers/soft hands. It's sort of a miracle that they don't look worse than they do! But whenever I see bloggers complaining about other bloggers with bad cuticles I sort of take it personally. (Even though my blog is tiny.)

    #4: I can't show new stuff very often because well, I am poor. I set aside a small amount of money to buy non-necessities with (basically, nail polish and beer, haha) so I can't keep up with all the new stuff. Nor do I want to, really, because it's my hard-earned money and I don't wanna buy stuff I don't love just because of the blog.

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  86. #1 - I think your blog is amazing. I love your layout, your posts, your photos, etc. I honeslty think it's one of the best and I visit daily to check it out :)

    #2 -Thank you for doing this. I actually started reading the comments today at work and zoned out - I completely forgot I was even at work lol.
    I feel like my blog will never be where I want it to be. I've been doing it for about 2 months now and while I can see a little bit of improvement it's no where close to where I would like. I'm insecure about my nubbins and my dry cuticles. I feel like a better camera and a light box would help but who wants to shell out a couple of hundred on a camera when there are so many other bills to be paid? And I'm always trying to figure out what will keep people coming back to read my posts.

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  87. Your Awesome Steph!!!!!!!!!!!!  This is one of my favorite blogs to read.  Your so cool and  you even responded to my twitter questions.  Huggs!!!! 

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  88. Great post...
    I have to say as a blogger my insecurities are usually about the condition of my nails... since I usually forget to take pictures for a few days and have some tipwear.  I'm reasonably confident with my photographs because photography is a big hobby of mine, so I know the pictures I take are decent.  I do wish I could take macro pictures, though... I always feel like I can't give a good enough example of what things really look like.  I've been fortunate enough not to read any blogs that I feel are complaining about other bloggers.  That just seems nasty and unpleasant.
    I also worry that I'm too wordy/come off as too stuck-up or technical.  I know that people are reading my blog, but the regular lack of comments makes it hard to tell what my readers think!

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  89. Thank you for your comments about my blog. I really appreciate it! That's what I strive for is to have something a little different than what's out there..

    I honestly think there is only a small number of bloggers who may actually be stand-offish and unapproachable. I do find that some bloggers who have close friendships with others I feel intimidated by. It's like I want to reach out, but I don't want to intrude. It's difficult, but I think sometimes we have to push ourselves outside our comfort zone to connect.

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  90. I'm glad you're proud of your improvement with your blog. I'm glad you stay positive too. I stay positive for the most part, but I have some slip ups here and there. Keep up the great attitude!

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  91. You and I have identical blogging philosophies, and I totally respect that. I knew when I got into blogging I wanted to come from the viewpoint of the actual consumer. I do not get PR freebies. I do not have perfect nails, an expensive camera, or an unlimited income to buy polish. I use this to my advantage, and you should too. The name of your blog like mine says it all "Normal Girl Nails". You shouldn't view these things as insecurities, but as advantages. You're providing your reader with an comparable experience to their own. Even though I love to look at other blogs with stunning pictures, amazing nails, and all the polish in the world. that isn't my reality. I like to think my blog has some relatability that some others may not. You should take pride in that!

    About posts. I am also a lengthy writer. I've been told often I'm too verbose! I have had to learn to edit myself a lot in blogging.  I can't speak for everyone, but I think a good balance of swatches and writing is ideal. I try to keep my paragraphs short. If I have a lot to say about something, I try to space it out appropriately, so it doesn't look like a lot. It's much easier to read a bunch fo 3-4 line paragraphs than it is to read 10-12 line ones. I'm not saying you should edit yourself, but this is just what I've found helpful to me. I like reading content as well as looking at swatches, but I follow 200+ blogs, and I don't always have the time to read a lot of material.

    I sometimes schedule posts in advance (like Niki said below), and sometimes I write them on the spot. It really depends on your writing style and what you like to include in your posts. I have a folder full of swatch pictures. I set aside an afternoon/evening every 2-3 weeks to swatch a bunch of colors for my blog. I then edit them and put them in a folder, and when I go to make a  post I have a huge selection of nail polish swatches to choose from. This has been ideal for me because even if I get to lazy to swatch sometimes, I still have a folder full of material I can blog on.

    I don't tend to include a lot of details in my posts. I like to have a little intro to a nail polish color, picture, short description, followed by a short response. This usually doesn't take me long at all. There are posts I do have a lot to say about. I sometimes have a story to share or a detailed experience, and I will work on those in advance. My "Share With You Sunday" posts take me the longest to do because I'm having to go through hundreds of blogs to find links to share. This is just me though, and every one is different.

    When it comes to a FB page. I started a FB account just based on my blog. It has no personal information on it, and just has my blog information. I use this account to communicate with other bloggers, make my own FB page, and join FB groups.

    I don't want you to be sad about your insecurities. I think this has been such a positive post despite the topic. It is clear so many of us have similar areas of concern, and I'm glad this post has become a safe place to open up about it. An "Imperfectly Blogging" group sounds like a good idea I'll have to put some thought into that!

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  92. You're welcome! I'm a bit behind though!

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  93. First of all <3 to you. I think a lot of this is we are WAY too hard on ourselves. I've always found Twitter and other social networking difficult as a blogger. I'll sometimes say things and not get any responses. I'll then get paranoid and think everyone hates me and just doesn't have the heart to tell me. It's really crazy, but it's difficult sometimes when you see so many people being chatty, and you just feel like an outsider. I know the feeling, I've always felt like a misfit too. I think we're both all around great people and bloggers, and we need to let go off a lot of the crap we hold on too. I have a feeling a lot of our past plays a role in some of these insecurities. I wish I could practice what I preach, but sometimes it's hard.  It is overwhelming espeically when there is blogger drama in the mix. I can't help but be brought down. I'm here for you though, and I'll always be your friend! I'm so glad we've gotten to know each other better, and any many ways I can thank you for saving my sanity. You really helped me some stuff when I felt SO alone, and wanted to throw in the towel. I appreciate it. <3

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  94. I totally understand, and relate about Twitter. I feel weird butting into conversations as well. I don't like imposing on others, but at the same time I don't want to feel left out :-/. I hate when bloggers get on their high horse and criticize other blogs. I have similar issues  my pictures, my nails, and etc are not perfect. I work with what I got. Plus, like you, I don't have the money to purchase anything and everything. I think you have to be confident with what you have. Honestly, this may be mean, but I think there are enough blogs of PR releases and brand new collections. I like to see different posts  with whatever colors, nail art, or other just random stuff. It's not all about the latest and greatest.

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  95. Aww, thank you for your kind comments. This may sound crazy, but what helped me a lot in regards to my blog was to stop caring. I really had to let go of worrying about what my posts will be like and other things. I of course, care about my blog, but I'm not putting in that extra time worrying about what I think is right or isn't. You have to blog what you want, and because you love it.

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  96. You're welcome!

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  97. I always worry about being too wordy too. I've had to edit myself a lot when blogging, but sometimes I can't help it. I like to talk a lot about things. I just started following your blog, and it looks great to me!

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  98. Aw, thanks!  Also, thanks for taking the time to reply to all these comments!  As a reader, it makes me feel all appreciated and stuff :)

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  99. Oh my gosh. I had to come along and reply to this, because whether you know it or not, you've helped me a lot too. So I thank you for that. Also, I had a feeling you would understand where I was coming from (although we talked about this on twitter just a little while ago), so I definitely felt comfortable telling you my own feelings on this. I seem to have a hard time finding folks offline who are like minded and would be friends, so I do spend time online hoping to cultivate friendships, but that can be hard too. <3 back to you, Stephanie.

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  100. I have ugly cuticles and my manicures suck more than they look professional/perfect. I just hope my charm and wit make up for that. If it doesn't, please don't tell me. I sort of enjoy my delusion. ;)
    I started blogging because I wanted to grow friendships. That, I have. My biggest insecurity is my age. I feel every blogger out there is young; just not me.  I see age spots on my hands; I'm horrified. Where my skin used to be smooth and youthful, I see wrinkles like I'm wearing a glove a size too big. I see lines and age spots on my face. My eyelids are not smooth anymore. I worry I look like a 'soccer mom' and not this cool chick I used to be.
    My hubs and I used to have a better standard of living when he was working. Now he's retired and I just hate it. It was unexpected too. So, I don't buy the best or even what I really want much of the time. If I get something new, you can pretty much guess that I took on extra work to get it. I don't mind working for it though.
    The one thing that I'm becoming more secure about is the development of my blog. It is becoming more and more how I envisioned it. It is important, to me, that it reflect my personality. I do practically everything with my blog to share. Sharing is something I LOVE doing. I feel it's like 'show and tell' for women. :)
    Maybe all the counseling I have done for people, for many years as a profession, has helped me see that almost everyone has insecurities. I have lots of them too. I also have felt safer, in the blogging community, to share my issues with my anxiety and panic disorder, my agoraphobia, chronic insomnia and depression. Boy, I'm a mess! LOL But it's not my fault and I have spent years to stop blaming myself. When others share they have some of these issues too, I don't feel alone like I have almost all my life. I have never shared this issues as easily and readily has I have with fellow bloggers.
    You're right, Steph. This has been a very cathartic posting. I feel a lot of comrodiere  here. 

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  101. I try to think that, but then I alienate myself more. So I have decided that my blog is for sharing what I do, what I like and what I'm trying out, rather than to post the latest and the greatest swatches. So far it is working, I'm having fun... :D

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  102. i have the same feeling with you. i cant minggel with other blogger. not in twitter or other social network. and i always think my blog so suck with the layout. also i know that i have a poor English and poor grammar. the only problem if i write in my own native language there's no people will read my blog.
    also i know that i cant describe a nail polish color in the right way. some times i just want to quit and delete my blog.
    i wish i can talk with other blogger in twitter or have a good relation with them..

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  103. I know what you mean, I have no blogging friends as of yet and it makes me feel a little lonely if I'm honest. I made my blog to share my passion but sometimes wonder why I bother. Sorry for the slight rant, but also, just to say I think you are awesome!! :-)

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